You know, it's often interesting how you can have parallel conversations with numerous people, all at different times and the same topic comes up in each conversation. If that wasn't confusing enough, let me give an example:
• You're at church on Sunday and your friend mentions humility & you have a short discussion on it.
• Sunday night you get an email from a friend that mentions a book she's reading about humility.
• Monday morning you read a blog post about humility.
None of these people even know each other - yet this is the prevailing topic on their hearts. It's hard to miss the significance of this and to ignore how it applies to your own life might be a mistake. It's entirely possible this is the Lord's way of getting your attention onto this very topic.
This has been happening for me quite a bit lately with the subject of leaving your legacy & what matters most. What I mean by leaving a legacy is what others think of you after you're gone, based on who you are, how lived, how you treated others - while you were here. In essence, what testimony do we really have, while here?
Obviously (to me anyway) this has been a prevelant thought for me because I recently had to say goodbye to a fellow Christian brother. Many who knew him have gathered online to remember him, and share some thoughts & stories about his life and his testimony. Now while not everyone that knew him, would have good things to say about him - those that really did know him, and knew his heart (as much as you can really know someone else's heart), all seem to have the same memory of him: the gospel of Christ was his #1 passion and priority. That's a mighty fine legacy to leave, amen?
This subject has come up also via telephone conversations, email conversations, and in a smaller degree by reading blogs.
Over at Kim's this occured to me again as I read this:
"I don't aspire to ecclesastical heights; I just want to learn more. But there are people out there who are ambitious in Christian circles the way actors and musical artists are ambitious in worldly circles. I can't imagine myself sitting down one day and saying, "Hmmm... I want to be a famous Christian. How can I do that?" Don't people who become well-known for their preaching and writing have it happen as a matter of course?"
Over at TeamPyro it came to mind as I was looking over their blogroll and was once again sort of surprised to still see my name under the convivial category.
It came up again this morning as school was officially cancelled so that Kev and I could have a 3 hour impromptu discussion with our 16 year old on everything from Christian life, music unbecoming a Christian's witness, strict parents and open teenagers.
It's come up again in my thoughts as I seem to be reading more and more sarcastic mockery in the blogosphere that just hurts my feelings. None of it is actually directed to me personally I'm sure, but because it's being done in the first place, it hurts to see it. I couldn't help but think "do I do that? Should I do that? Does this please the Lord?". Now I sure don't say this to sound any kind of holier than thou, because we all know I'm not. I say it only because it convicts me when I see others do the very things I've done, and feel bad for it. The bottom line question for me on that aspect is simply 'do I want to be known for this?'. No way Jose, I assure you I do not want to be known for that - I want nothing to do with it.
So then, because it's come up so much for me (and maybe it's just me noticing it more because it's been more prevelant in my own thoughts - either way), the one thought I have is then this:
WHAT DO I WANT TO BE KNOWN FOR?
That's sort of a tricky question actually, because (for those that know me, and know me well) I really don't want to be "known" at all. I'm not comfortable being the center of attention, and that's going to be something I have to get over before we join our church as official members. Those doing so have to give a verbal testimony before the congregation, and I've been mentally preparing myself for that for the last couple of months. I love to talk about what the Lord has done in my life, I just don't like a lot of people LOOKING at me, when I do it. I've done public speaking things before - even did live television - and I can do it, I just don't like doing it.
So while I really don't have any aspirations to "be known", I already am known, by many people. My family, my church family, offline friends, online friends, blog readers and blog lurkers. That's not really a lot of people in the grand scheme of things, but it's enough for me to be concerned about the impression I not only give now, but the legacy I leave when I am gone.
We've all been to funerals where the deceased was a pure heathen and we hear people say grand and glorious things about them. Inwardly we're thinking "huh!?" but out of respect we don't say anything (anyway I hope we don't, or if we do, it's said with compassion and tact??). We've also been to funerals where the deceased really was a decent person who loved life, loved people, and served with a true servant's heart - and would probably be bothered to hear anyone going on and on about them. They'd probably rather hear people (if they could) going on and on about the grace of God in that person's life.
I'm sure that the reason I'm thinking about this lately is because of the recent passing of my friend Michael, and how folks have been talking about him since. The thing is, it really shouldn't take a death of a loved one to get us to think this way - this is the way we ought to be thinking every day. With every word that comes out of our mouths, every word we write, and every thought we think the criteria ought to be "does this minister grace and truth, or does this tear down?". I can say for me personally, that while I might have a passion for truth and hold the grace of God near and dear to my heart - I'm not always an example of either. I'm certainly not proud of that, but it's the truth and I'd be a phoney baloney to pretend it isn't.
The thing is, I know the legacy I want to leave, and I really want to be busy about leaving that legacy long before I'm gone. If I am known, and for those that I am known by, "convivial" is just the start of what I want to come to people's minds when they hear my name. If I am convivial I want it to be because it comes from a heart changed by grace. When I speak the truth I want it to come from a heart with compassion instead of frustration that someone doesn't 'get it'. When I joke around and sometimes get sarcastic I never want it to be at the expense of someone who will be offended or insulted by it.
To wrap this up? This is my hope, for the legacy I might leave, and be busy about it NOW:
He must increase, but I must decrease. (John 3:30)
It seems so simple, doesn't it?
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